hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
