DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
