I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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