btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
So much rum. So many feels.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
