Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Randomize
