I swear she didn't look like that last week.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize
