I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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