I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
