Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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