He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Randomize
