Don't make out with my wife yet
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
