was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
