Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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