Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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