haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
