D3 body, D1 cock
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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