I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
