Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
