Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
