what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
She even gives head with a lisp.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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