You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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