Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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