I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
