Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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