dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
