i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
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