Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
