At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
