so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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