Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
