so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Randomize
