Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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