Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
just come out here and I will go home with you...
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
