oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
