i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize