Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
