The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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