dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
