If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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