I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
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