doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
