Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
