im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
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