i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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