Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
