I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
