i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Randomize
