she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
