he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I just forgot I was standing up.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
