Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
