oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
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